I've found a longing today. An uncaptured, unexplored area of my soul that has yet to be filled. And all of this was awakened by a song. My heart aches for a love that can be expressed in more than just thoughts and words. I want a voice and a melody. I want a rhythem and a tone. A mood and a place on a page. I want to know the kind of love that can be expressed with more than just a touch. I wish for a proclaimation! I know, that sounds selfish and even possibly egocentric, however, the feeling that I got from hearing someone elses love song made me feel like every girl worth her place as a lover, friend, confidant, etc. should have a song that was made for her. One that is verbally sculpted to the very description on her wonders and amazement. It's a love that can't die. No matter how much time passes. How feelings may change. It's an account of how one can feel for another, in that one moment in time. How I want that. I love a man that can sing. But to sing a song of what my soul means to his..... that's the kind of love that poetic tapestries are woven from.

And with a giant sigh and a hand running through my hair, I realize that I'm probably feeling this mushy only due to fatigue and a full moon. Ah, bella Luna! How hopeless you make my romantic heart sometimes!

I used to laugh at the idea of having a blog. The idea of just spewing out random thoughts on a virtual page that was open to view and discussion by masses of individuals that didn't even know you existed 5 minutes before... but now are not only fully aware of you, but have pre-conceived opinions of the you that is displayed on the page. I used to find solice in the simple thought that a pen and a piece of paper could do that same thing, without having the bias of someone elses mind behind it.

I've decided differently. What good is a mind that cannot be expressed? What good is a thought, however large or small, that can not be placed into words, that some mind might come to read and understand, and perhaps take comfort in? What good is a feeling that one chooses not to share?

Well, world, here I am, creating that blog. With a head filled with a billion thoughts and a trillion ideas..... and 4 hours of sleep to run from.

Today, I feel alone. Surrounded, but alone. I feel restless; as though my wings are longing to taste the air in flight, but their tips are doing nothing more than softly scraping the inside of an invisible cage. I'm tired. And I'm alone. Inside my own head. And now, on a virtual page. I want more and more to break way from my life. To fall into a job that I can honestly and whole heartedly say is worthwhile. Yes, I've hit the wonderful stage of "I want". Perhaps it's that "quater-life crisis" thing I was warned of. Or perhaps it's just me. Don't know. But I do know that my couch is calling me once again, begging for my head and body to grace its soft plush cushions with the warmth and weight of my lazy ass.

Perhaps tomorrow something more will come.